Dangerous Dining with Alex #9

Bellaberry Cherry Cheescake

Overview: Wow. And I don’t mean that in a good way.

Label: I did say “Wow!”, aloud, when I saw this in the freezer section of the grocery store. People even stared at me.

To be more exact, I said “Wow!” when I looked at the label. This is not a big treat — and I call it a treat and not a dessert. It comes in a little plastic tapered cup that is only 3 and a half inches at the top. It weighs a mere 100 g and yet it contains 51 % of your daily saturated fat (and 0.4 g of trans fat)! It’s basically a double Snickers bar! It also comes with 290 mg of sodium. That’s the real kicker. I mean, two Cadbury’s Caramilk bars (100 g) will give you 72 % of you daily saturated fat, so the fat isn’t out of line (for junk food). But I don’t know where that sodium is coming from. And keep in mind, these little snacks are tiny. You don’t eat just one, at least if you’re like me.

As an aside, it’s almost comical to also find on the label the fact that this dessert is certified as both kosher and halal. How can something so bad for you be permitted, even endorsed, by a just and loving God?

Review: I love cheesecake. It’s probably my favourite dessert. So when I saw these little guys on sale for a dollar each I had to try them out. But that label was sticker shock. There’s just no exaggerating how much concentrated awfulness they’ve put in here. I mentioned how it equates pretty much to a chocolate bar in terms of junk-to-total mass, which makes me wonder if there is some golden ratio for this. Is there a limit to how bad, nutritionally, food (or “food”) can get, short of being totally inedible (or poison)? I’m sure scientists must be looking into it.

But the big disappointment here is that it doesn’t taste great. The mouth feel is alright, but there’s a bitter after-taste that doesn’t wait long to register and that sticks around for hours. Apparently it’s made with real cream cheese but the texture seems off. It certainly doesn’t feel anything like a real, baked cheesecake (not that I was expecting much in that regard). There are various flavours, but they hardly register. Overall, this one just didn’t make me feel good.

Price: $1 on sale.

Score: 3 / 10

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