Fascinating.
Here’s something I wrote three years ago:
Wow, the Super Bowl ads really sucked.
They’ve probably been bad for a while now, but to be honest I haven’t been paying any attention. This year I managed to check a bunch of them out. And they were . . . terrible.
I’m honestly surprised they were this bad. No intelligence or creativity at all. They just seemed like they were throwing around lots of money, big stars, and brand IP, and then hoping for the best.
Well, guess what? In 2025 the Super Bowl ads were even worse!
I didn’t make notes on all of them, but what I saw was just a lot of expensive junk with random celebrities and lame jokes. Eugene Levy’s distinctive shaggy eyebrows take off and fly away, scaring people before settling back where they belong. This is funny because flying eyebrows are funny? They spent millions of dollars on this. Levy is a veteran comedian as well as a very funny and very smart guy. I can’t imagine what he thought when he saw the script.
Shane Gillis and Post Malone showed up as a pair of bros who know how to party like it’s a beer commercial. Because it’s a beer commercial. Some girl in a bikini ate a really unappetizing looking hamburger. Chris Hemsworth and Chris Pratt combined their star power to deliver a weak punchline about eating that $6 million banana duct-taped to the wall. I didn’t even know what it was a commercial for, which is the same I could say about most of these ads. The singer Seal is transformed into a seal, which was horrifying. I think that ad was for some kind of beer. Häagen-Daz did a Fast & Furious commercial that just left me thinking “Why?”
No laughs. Not even a smile. The one, single, good line I culled from all of these ads was Willem Dafoe saying “Fascinating.” That was fantastic. I’m sure it’s already a hit meme. The rest of the commercial was crap though. It was for some kind of beer.
Moving away from the humour, the Clydesdale horses were sentimental favourites again, as they have been for years (decades?) now. Nothing new. And Nike had that angry “girl boss” message going again. Just spinning the classics for us, barely even trying.
These ads cost a lot of money to make. They cost a lot of money to run during the Super Bowl. A lot of work goes into them. And every year now they are almost complete crap. They don’t sell a product and they aren’t in any way memorable or funny or entertaining on their own. What is going on in the world that even our advertisers can’t do their job properly? That they aren’t even competent at creating effective 30-second spots? How can they be this bad?
Alex Good 
Man, am I glad I skipped then…
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You didn’t miss anything. It amazes me more and more that so many people are so bad at what they do. But the Super Bowl and television ads? This is where you’re supposed to be seeing the best of the best, and they’re complete crap.
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One more reason to turn the screen off and read a book 😉
or go to bed early if you can…
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I always go to bed early. But then I get up at midnight . . .
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Ouch…
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It means nothing to me, I hadn’t even heard of Kendrick Lamar.
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I don’t know him either. Also had to look up who Post Malone was. The times have passed me by.
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I knew Post Malone, I like one of his songs and his duet with Luke Combes.
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I’m going to have to take your word for it being good.
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Post Malone went to the same high school as my kids and was there at the same time as my oldest. He came back a year or two later, after becoming rich and famous, and gave his new crocs to the whole school. My son got a pair. So I figure he’s an okay guy. I still couldn’t pick him out of a lineup, though.
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I think he has a bunch of tattoos. Even on his face. So he should stand out in a line-up. I didn’t know what he did for a living though until I looked him up.
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He’d stand out only if the dastardly cops put him in with a bunch of normies. The defense would get that thrown out of court.
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Yes, simply awful. As usual. I actually enjoyed the eyebrows, particularly the fuzzy caterpillars bowing and chanting, “We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.” And Bill Murray had a good line read. So I liked about .01% of the total barrage. Couple that with a non-competitive game and a dismal halftime performance, and oh it was not time well spent.
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Just amazes me how incompetent today’s advertisers are. Hope you at least had some good eats!
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Just burgers, but good. : -)
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Nothing beats a good homeburger.
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